A Surviving Spouse's First 90 Days in New York: A Checklist

Losing a spouse reshuffles nearly every part of daily life at once, and the legal and financial to-do list rarely waits for a better moment. The first 90 days don't require solving everything, and some decisions genuinely benefit from waiting until the initial shock has settled, but a handful of items deserve early attention, both because New York law gives a surviving spouse specific protections and because some deadlines are easy to miss while grieving.

This checklist walks through what a surviving spouse is legally entitled to, how priority works if there's no will, the financial and benefits housekeeping that tends to pile up, and why this window is also the right time to look at your own plan, not just your spouse's estate.

The legal side: what a spouse is automatically entitled to

Regardless of what the will says, or whether there's a will at all, EPTL 5-3.1 lets certain personal property, such as household items, a vehicle up to a certain value, and a modest amount of cash, be set aside for a surviving spouse or children under 21 before the rest of the estate is distributed. Separately, if the will leaves the surviving spouse less than New York's statutory minimum share, EPTL 5-1.1-A gives that spouse a right of election to claim an elective share instead, a protection designed to prevent a spouse from being effectively disinherited by an outdated will, a second family, or an estranged relationship near the end of life. Exercising that right generally has to happen within a limited window, so it isn't something to sit on indefinitely.

If there's no will: priority to serve as administrator

When a spouse dies without a will, New York's intestacy rules under EPTL 4-1.1 determine how the estate is divided, generally favoring the surviving spouse along with any children. SCPA 1001 also gives the surviving spouse first priority to petition for Letters of Administration, meaning that in most cases the spouse, not a more distant relative, will be the one appointed to administer the estate if they're willing and eligible to serve. This priority can matter in blended families, where adult children from a prior relationship sometimes assume they'll be the ones handling things.

Financial and benefits housekeeping

Beyond the probate estate itself, a surviving spouse typically has a list of institutions to contact directly: Social Security for survivor benefits, any pension plan, life insurance companies, and retirement accounts with a named beneficiary, all of which usually pass outside probate and require their own claim paperwork rather than waiting on the Surrogate's Court process. Joint bank accounts often pass to the surviving spouse automatically, but it's still worth confirming titling on every account rather than assuming, since not every account is held the way a couple might remember.

Updating your own plan

It's easy to focus entirely on your spouse's estate and forget that your own plan needs attention too. A will that named your spouse as executor or primary beneficiary usually needs updating, along with beneficiary designations on your own retirement accounts and life insurance, and your health care proxy and power of attorney if your spouse was your named agent. If long-term care is a concern going forward, this is also a reasonable time to think about Medicaid planning, since some strategies work better when started well before care is actually needed, and waiting can narrow the available options considerably.

How Schwartsman Law Group can help

Schwartsman Law Group PLLC helps surviving spouses handle both sides of this transition: administering a spouse's estate and updating their own estate plan for the future, including Medicaid planning where long-term care is a concern. Founding attorney Marianna Schwartsman, a Fordham Law graduate, and her team serve clients from offices in Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Manhasset, in English, Spanish, and Russian. Call +1 212 518 3868 or request a free consultation to talk through your next steps.